ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
