she was so not down for the gang bang
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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