ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
