Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
