if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
