ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
