Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize