i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I want her autograph on my taint
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I supernannyed him into submission
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
