Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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