I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
