the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
