Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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