Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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