is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
