he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
