Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
