i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
