I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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