Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
