Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
this is an emotional support booty call
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
