so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
