I love black thongs
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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