My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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