He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
