remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
