She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
