k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
