If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
