Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
