you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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