he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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