Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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