I just threw up on my dentist
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
