help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize