Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I party with great urgency now.
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