I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
