Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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