why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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