Its about making memories worth repressing
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
