I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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