I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
YAS. BRING CRAB.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
