I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
