HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
