It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
