don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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