If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
