so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
