we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
