How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am available for nakedness
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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