i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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