Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
either way he was missing a nipple.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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