Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
