So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
