Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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