Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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