So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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