I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize