Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just want nice things and good sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
