If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
