Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize