On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
