people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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